ENGAGE
Picture the behavior that really grinds your gears--is it a child who constantly cries when he/she does not get his way? Is it a child who is aggressive, grabbing things from other children and pushing them when the child says no? Is it a child who is defiant, and does not seem to do the simplest tasks you ask? These are common struggles in the early childhood classroom, wouldn’t you agree? These are likely things you experience weekly, if not daily. So how can we make these behaviors manageable and reduce their frequency?
Most of these behaviors are what Gartrell calls “mistaken behaviors.” This simply means that there is a reason why these behaviors occur, and have a purpose though the child may not be able to articulate why. Consider this: you can see the effect this behavior has on the classroom, whether it is your immediate attention, a response from another child, or the “bad” kid simply getting exactly what he wants. What if there was a way to see the cause for the behavior, understand why it is occurring in the first place, and replace it with behavior that is more appropriate, supportive, even gentle and calm?
Conscious Discipline (Bailey, 2015) is a great resource for creating resilient classrooms and school family mindsets. One of these tools involves the acronym A.C.T.
/// Place your cursor over each letter for the acronym
Let's look deeper at the acronym A.C.T.:
A – Acknowledge what the child wants or feels
“You were hoping for a turn with the toy, so you grabbed it.”
“You seem angry.”
In this step, it is important to use “you” statements as it helps provide a voice for the child’s story. By saying “I notice” or “I see,” you interject your story as the most important element in the situation. As you develop this skill, focus on what can be seen or what you think the child may be feeling. Acknowledge the child’s deepest desire and intent. Additionally, it is important to notice the action without judgement to build awareness of the child’s actions and physiological state.
C – Clarify what skills the child should use, or
Communicate the limit clearly, simply and assertively.
“When you want a turn, then say may I have a turn please?”
“You may not hit. Hitting is hurtful.”
In clarifying and communicating, you are stating a child’s missing skill and setting limits. In establishing a classroom community, it is important to both set limits for keeping everyone state and making expectations clear. Stating a limit and why it is needed can help provide clear expectations for behavior as well as establish natural consequences.
T – Target acceptable behavior, providing the child alternatives for expressing the original desire/action, and
Take time to practice.
“You wanted a turn with the toy, so you grabbed it. You didn’t know what else to do. You may not grab things
from others, it is not safe. When you want a turn, tap her on the shoulder and ask may I have a turn please? Say it now for practice.”
“Stop. Hitting is not safe. You may ask for a turn or tap her on the shoulder to get her attention, but you may not hit.” (demonstrate)
A – Acknowledge what the child wants or feels
“You were hoping for a turn with the toy, so you grabbed it.”
“You seem angry.”
In this step, it is important to use “you” statements as it helps provide a voice for the child’s story. By saying “I notice” or “I see,” you interject your story as the most important element in the situation. As you develop this skill, focus on what can be seen or what you think the child may be feeling. Acknowledge the child’s deepest desire and intent. Additionally, it is important to notice the action without judgement to build awareness of the child’s actions and physiological state.
C – Clarify what skills the child should use, or
Communicate the limit clearly, simply and assertively.
“When you want a turn, then say may I have a turn please?”
“You may not hit. Hitting is hurtful.”
In clarifying and communicating, you are stating a child’s missing skill and setting limits. In establishing a classroom community, it is important to both set limits for keeping everyone state and making expectations clear. Stating a limit and why it is needed can help provide clear expectations for behavior as well as establish natural consequences.
T – Target acceptable behavior, providing the child alternatives for expressing the original desire/action, and
Take time to practice.
“You wanted a turn with the toy, so you grabbed it. You didn’t know what else to do. You may not grab things
from others, it is not safe. When you want a turn, tap her on the shoulder and ask may I have a turn please? Say it now for practice.”
“Stop. Hitting is not safe. You may ask for a turn or tap her on the shoulder to get her attention, but you may not hit.” (demonstrate)
| ENCOURAGING STATEMENTS |